Reflecting on the past two decades of my life, I find solace in the realization that what I once perceived as failures has actually enriched my journey beyond measure. Each setback has ultimately contributed to shaping me into the person I am today. In the midst of these experiences, it often felt like my efforts were useless, leading to doubts about my abilities and the worthiness of my endeavors. However, I now recognize that these trials were instrumental for my growth, both mental and spiritual.
During my teenage years, I was deeply passionate about pursuing a career in nursing, driven by a strong desire to serve. I dedicated three months to intensive preparation, and upon announcement of the results, I was delighted to secure a top ranking. Unfortunately, my dream was disrupted when the interview process at the intended campus was abruptly canceled. I later discovered that donations played a decisive role in securing admission to the private institution, leaving me disheartened and uncertain about my future.
Although I initially planned to defer my dreams of pursuing nursing for another year, fate intervened in an unexpected way. A close friend who had enrolled in a Bachelor of Public Health program suggested I join the same program. I boldly chose to pursue public health instead. While the transition required me to let go of my childhood dream of wearing the iconic white nursing uniform, I found comfort in embracing this new direction, although it took me some time to fully adjust to the change. However, I am grateful for the unforeseen opportunities it brought, including traveling around the country. These travel experiences and interaction with people from different walks of life made me grounded and appreciative of the life I was living.
During my time in graduate school, I aspired to serve people through government public health institutions. Once I graduated, I secured a contract position in government service under a program aimed at hiring public health graduates for each electorate region. For the first time, I finally felt I was living my dream. However, only after three-month tenure, my aspirations were shattered when the program was canceled nationwide, due to political interests opposing its success.
Experiencing uncertainty once more, I started attending MA Sociology classes, where I met my best friend for life. She accepted me completely and inspired my growth in ways I had never experienced before. During our time in the program, I held onto another dream: pursuing a Master’s degree in Public Health (MPH) abroad. Despite facing rejections from scholarship programs, I remained determined to fulfill my dream. I planned to self-fund my education. Unfortunately, my plans hit a roadblock when my US visa was denied, despite multiple attempts. It was overwhelming and I felt like my dream was crushed once more.
After facing the third major setback in my life, I was clueless. Confident that my US visa would be approved, I had resigned from my job. However, when it didn’t happen, a friend suggested applying for MPH program in Canada. I explored that option but got enrolled in a post grad program because the application process for MPH was lengthy and I was in no mood to wait another year. However, once in Canada, I realized the education system was much like I’d seen before. I didn’t see the use of the time, money, and effort spent in any educational institution. Feeling let down, I gave up on the dream of MPH and any further formal studies.
Despite the disappointment I encountered in Canada, I was fortunate to meet incredible individuals who quickly became family to me. Their warmth and acceptance showed me that familial bonds are built from the heart, rather than by blood. With their unwavering support, I found solace in sharing both my joys and sorrows. Words cannot express how much their kindness meant to me. Their presence made me feel truly at home, and I now realize that my journey to Canada was guided by fate, as these extraordinary souls were destined to be a part of my life.
These so-called failures in my life have led me to meet wonderful souls, cultivate patience and perseverance, and embrace change. Most importantly, they’ve taught me to place trust in the Universe and my higher self. Though I occasionally question why things don’t unfold as I expect, each obstacle strengthens my faith in a higher power. As this trust deepens, I find it increasingly easier to surrender control over outcomes. I remain hopeful that someday I will fully release my worries and place my trust entirely in the Universe.
